Friday 19 April 2019

The Baneblade's End - Leeroy's Last Ride


Well, there's a very simple reason for today's article - It's long overdue. Yes, even by my standards this is one which has long deserved a telling, as it has been three years since we last looked into it. Back in 2016, we delved into the tale of Leeroy the Baneblade, a vehicle which was unstoppable thanks to sheer luck and named so that no one would live down the humiliation of such an encounter. Well, now is the time to properly delve into his final game.

This was back shortly after the Dark Eldar had undergone a long overdue, and much-deserved overhaul. By this time it was clear that the meta was changing. While Leeroy had been joined by three other Shadowswords, it was evident that they were not the top dogs anymore. The whole debacle of everyone and their mother walking about with Strength D weapons almost certainly contributed to that, and after a few years, I had decided to move on. I would sell on the vehicles and put the money toward a new army. However, just ending it like that seemed wrong, so I sought out a Viking Funeral of a game.

The game I found was the sort of experience which Leeroy had been bought for in the first place: A carnage match with eight players per side. Groups were divided up into ad hoc formations and a few pre-set agreements. I was to hold one flank with Leeroy and Bernard - a Stormlord - along with a few small units and a Space Wolf player. There was just one problem: The Space Wolf player never showed up. As time ticked down toward the start, there was no sign of the guy, meaning that I was likely going to end up facing two-to-one odds. That in of itself did not seem like a bad thing, especially as there was only one player on the opposing side. Then he started to show off his models.

Dark Eldar, as far as the eye could see. Practically thousands of them. There were perhaps twenty Raiders and Ravegers, all backed up with Wyches, Kabalites and the like, but most worrying was the sheer volume of dark lances. As we had all deployed by now, there was no chance to back down, and no opportunity to switch out my place with anyone else. What looked like it might have been a glorious end looked like it was about to become a one-sided massacre of the worst kind. Still, with this being the game that it was, I decided to go down fighting, and if that meant using technicalities then so be it.

Managing to get the first turn, Leeroy rolled at full speed down from the hill that he had parked on toward a small group of trench fortifications. At the same time, Bernard reversed behind a cathedral, edging into place partway between it and a burned out building. This sacrificed my opening volley, but it left me with a fighting chance. Technically each tank was in cover, as they were hiding more or less half of themselves behind terrain. This required a fair bit of rules layering on my part by making sure that certain sections could not be seen, and even calling in a similar act which had been greenlit from a previous match. Still, while my opponent argued, we eventually settled on a dice roll as a decider. Odds it would work, evens it wouldn't. He rolled a five.

The opening volley of the Dark Eldar force, ten dark lances, and assembled heavy weapons which got into range, opened fire. Through some poor rolls and some magnificent luck on my part, they managed to shake the crew on Bernard and disable one of Leeroy's heavy bolter turrets. This left fully half of their army fully exposed to the waiting guns of the super heavy tanks, both of which were ready to rip and tear at a moment's notice. The Dark Eldar had clearly rushed in expecting one of their shots to prevent at least one tank from shooting its main guns, because they were promptly shredded by incoming fire. Several lascannon blasts, a pie-plate of doom and liberal application of a vulcan mega bolter quickly took its toll, downing four of the enemy vehicles and sending several squads running.

The Eldar moved in again, firing as they came, but with similarly ineffective results. And so the game played out, trading shots back and forth over and over again. In truth, this was as limiting to the tanks as it was to the Eldar. Their angle meant that they could not fire all of their weapons into the oncoming horde, and were typically unable to shoot beyond a certain angle. This did force the Eldar to keep moving forward to deal with them, and it prevented them from rushing forward into our side's flank as likely had been intended. After four turns of this, however, each side was notably wounded.

The Dark Eldar had lost two-thirds of their vehicles, with a number of their troops running or too broken to be of many effects. However, every weapon save Leeroy's main turret and autocannon had been taken down, he had lost several hull points, and Bernard had been immobilized. This had likely been part of the other player's plan to overwhelm at least one of the tanks, as his Lord and retinue started sneaking around Bernard's rear. This would have likely blown him up, but thankfully there is one major benefit to Stormlords: They double as transports. No sooner did the Lord get within range, than Kharn the Betrayer and a mob of Berzerkers leapt out of the back and started screaming about skulls. Skulls were had, and blood was offered to a certain plasma obsessed god.

While that went on, Leeroy managed to inflict enough wounds on the main force with his cannon to drive back most of the Dark Eldar, save for a group of Wyches which charged his side. These, unsurprisingly, did little damage and left the Wyches tied up hacking away against the Baneblade's side armour. Just in time for the Space Wolf player to finally show up and come in firing.

This didn't result in a win. While all of this was going on, the other side of the board was losing badly to a few Stompas supported by a mixture of Genestealers and Imperial Guardsmen. However, it was enough to turn what should have been total defeat into a halfway decent draw. After that, there was nothing which seemed like it could top it. Leeroy and his ilk disappeared shortly after that, sold off to an Imperial Guard fanatic, while the money was used to start building up a force of High Elves. Still, if nothing else it showed one thing: If you ever need to get rid of an army, make sure that they go out on a high note.

4 comments:

  1. Please review Titandeath and The Buried Dagger!
    The last HH novel you reviewed was Slaves to Darkness, over 8 months ago! We're jonesing!

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    1. Hah, well, thank you for that. I am trying to get the free time to delve into each of them, but it has been slow going of late sadly. I'll be having a few Black Library reviews coming up, so i'll see if I can devote some time toward this.

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  2. LEEROY JENKINS!
    Excellent article, as always. Thanks for the stuff you put out.

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    1. Many thanks, i'm glad that you had some fun reading this one.

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